Let's imagine the end

If it were only that easy. Swallow a bottle of pills, pass out for who knows how long. Maybe a few hours, maybe forever.

Why someone would try to use ending their life as a way of getting attention, I will never know. I guess it works. Everyone is all of a sudden concerned. But not for the right reasons. Not because they care. But because they’re afraid that they were part of the equation, part of the reason that you decided that now is the time to end everything. Or they’re afraid you’ll try again.

I’ll admit that I’ve thought about it a few times. Never seriously, of course, but I’ve thought of it nonetheless. Would people cry? Would people come to my funeral? Would they wish that they had known me, been there for me more? But how would you ever find out if you just died? You wouldn’t. That’s why you take the more passive, less obstructive way of committing suicide. You take some pills. You see how many people show (feign) concern. If you really wanted to die, you would’ve used a gun.

All I’m saying is: it’s all very stupid. If you want to kill yourself, then don’t halfass it. If you want to get people’s attention, do something that’s worth their attention. If they don’t pay you attention, then you’re probably seeking it from the wrong person. Internalize the fact and move on.

/end rant